A Passion for Peace

Responsibility, respect and a loving connection with all beings and for this Earth we share.

A Quote Collage

Heard & said in the last week:

If you’re gored by a rhino, the indemnity form will be scant consolation.

She ate her hearing aid!

The car’s fine, you won’t have a problem, it just needs new brake pads so try not to brake much, and if it breaks down nearby, here’s my number.

You’re leaking petrol--you can’t drive, you have to stay here!

If you don’t know what you’re doing, you will get carjacked.

Aren’t we targets sitting here waiting for the gate to open?

The gate closes at 6, but you’ll want to be gone by 4:30 at the latest.

Whenever I see the police I shit myself and think please don’t commit a crime while I’m around.

Yeah, but you sell yourself to help kids, and he just sells himself.

The first night I was here I cooked vegetables in the meat pot.

Not to be racist, but Jews are known for guilt.

She survived the Holocaust and now she won’t leave Israel, because she says all goyim are out to kill us. (Photo: Double-butt buffalo money shot)

They lied about my being an Israeli citizen for 22 years, but Israel figured it out.

When she house-sat for us, she drank 22 bottles in 21 days, at R300 a bottle!

R4300 to India—you’d pay that in petrol to drive to Cape Town!

I wasn’t even informed I’d be flying out of a different airport.

Is this picture really recent? (Photos: rose & Jo'burg botanic gardens)

It’s my Mary Poppins skirt.

Wow, I’ve never heard German with an American accent before.

I can't believe I just heard an American say banana [in South African accent].

I got a golf scholarship to Missouri, but was denied a US visa three times.

They called and said if you want a visa, come right away, so I don’t dare say my travel plans changed.

Learning is like feeding a baby, best to eat a little at a time more often.

If we're good at our job, it's like we're a brick and they cement us in place and we get stuck in that job.

I can feel it [through the phone], you’re processing.

He was either married, or worse, a politician.

Here, look at the bra straps my daughter is wearing.

I could cut your hair, but then it would be shorter.

I think I’m allergic to my washing powder.

Are you sure this is gluten-free pizza?

I’m just in shock someone ordered tea.

I’ve never seen someone without a pupil before.

Zulu don't eat Zulu food, they want homemade bologna and fetkuchen [donuts].

Do it at the beginning of the month when people have money, maybe the second weekend, when they’re less drunk, and earlier in the evening.

He licked my face at 3 am so I kicked him out.

I feed him moldy goat cheese.

He’s using my driveway as a litter box.

We have a bet whether the cats will be cuddling by August, and the loser has to do 75 favors. (Photo: inside a schmanzy Jo'burg furniture shop)

How about a drinkie-poo?

I can play Scrabble not today, but Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday.

You usually do it in 8 hours, but can you do it in 2?

Only someone who hasn’t given birth would say that—I’ve seen it—it’s not that hard.

I have never known a dog that would not hump anybody’s leg.

A Wisconsin woman arrested for shooting blow-darts at pedestrians said she had done so because she liked to hear people say, “Ouch.”

Good news: the federal government gave you $125 for working and being poor!

I thought it was playing Frogger with my life crossing the street in Bombay, but people here cross the freeway when I’m going like 120 km per hour, and all the notice I have is a triangular sign with an ‘!’ that says ‘Pedestrians. No Fencing.’

Can you stop by Atlanta on your way to India? (Photo: Durban being African/Indian)

Posted byValerie at 11:49 AM  

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