Multiple Jobs and 1 Person does not for much time make
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
I've been wanting to blog for ages, to share--or maybe to gloat--that my current home is the second-most liveable city in the world, that in an effort to go easy on myself I tell myself it's important to prioritise time and if blogging and uploading pictures to Facebook slips lower on the list than socialising in person and by phone, then so it goes. Recent research shows the unhappiness of half-assing and pretending you're happy to do/be something when you're not, so unless you've got some deadline, why not do it well and thoroughly later than half-formed sooner? (Photo: sunrise from my bedroom window)
And speaking of deadlines, I've got more coming up. Having had a few-week break from the 2-full-time-job insanity, which time I happily filled with friends, socialising, dating, a visit to the countryside complete with a hike and visit to a wildlife sanctuary. Sometimes I feel so on the go I think I've forgotten how to sit still. People tend to think I don't sleep (which was actually true when I was pulling all-nighters deep in double-job mode last month). My first job is still the same, which is culminating in our convening a restorative justice forum on clergy sexual abuse on April 8, which is the first time to our knowledge restorative justice is being used in this area. My second involves legal research and consulting, writing submissions for the Australian federal government on behalf of another NGO on proposed law and policy changes, first regarding forced and servile marriage, and now on a domestic violence "escape" in immigration law for women on conditional spousal visas. I meet the most inspiring people and hear such amazing stories researching this on the ground. (Photo: a hike in Healesville)
As if I need more evidence my current life is and, let's be honest, has always been very cushy. I read with interest articles like this mapping out unhappiness, health, and other issues in the US. Sometimes it feels like the hazards of choice. If all you had time for was eking out a living, breaking your back working to just feed yourself, have shelter and survive, you wouldn't have the unhappiness and existential crises. You'd just do, which would be all you knew. (Photo: koalas sleep so I don't have to)
Because there are always more problems and challenges to tackle! You know, like this, and that, just regarding child sex abuse in Melbourne alone. Work-life balance is always a struggle, unless you actively strive to do less or live in Denmark, apparently. Yoga in the morning, easily 1-2 hours of cycling a day getting around town, and meditation at night all keep my energy strong. It's so important when you're on a mission. My boss asked me the other day, if you don't sit still, why don't you sit still? The answer is easy. There's just so much I want to do! Passion calls, and I'm off to another meeting with some priests-- (Photo: happily swinging around straight-haired me!)Posted byValerie at 6:45 AM 0 comments
The Power of Empowerment
Saturday, February 5, 2011
The Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Bill of 2010, which has been front page news since July (and I'm mentioned in a fore-running article here), has reached an intense debate recently on the age of consensual sex. The basic idea is not to charge an 18-year-old with rape for having consensual sex with his/her 16-year-old boy/girlfriend. The debate is about the age at which children can consent, culminating into sensation headlines like 'Non-penetrative Sex Ok for 12-year-olds, Bill Says.' To be clear, the minimum age was 14 in the draft we worked on, and the definition of 'young child' was under 12, meaning if a child is abused below that age, the offender faces increased sentencing. Agreement is building to use 16 as the minimum age allowable for consent. (Photo: colony of gulls on a bright green pond I've been cycling past in my daily commute)My thoughts on this are similar regarding the recent activity in Egypt: the immediate outcome--whether the age of consent is 14 or 16, or whether a conservative Muslim government is voted in--is less important to me than public and open debate and interest in politics and governance, and general ownership of and participation in a fair process. (I realise Egypt's turmoil worries Israel. The Wikileaks-revealed Israeli strategy to leave Palestine on the brink of collapse is not endearing, though to say Iran is strategising to create another Gaza in Egypt seems overly alarmist.) In any case, India & Egypt, I'm impressed and excited to see how you sort it out. As James Bryant Conant said, "Behold the turtle: he makes progress only when he sticks his neck out." (And I'll add, he ensures he's at home wherever he goes. Admirable, indeed.)
In local news, besides the barrage of rain and resulting flooding from the cyclone which filled my boots and showered me as I walked home last night, it's been an inspiring week. I'm devoting myself full-time to the clergy sex abuse project, with much positive progress, and enjoying facilitating and circulating energy during meetings, and embedding restorative justice practices into all aspects of our work, including an amazing restorative guided healing conversation circle on Friday. Empowering in a safe space to promote communication and collaborate to heal--restorative circles are a magical process, and I feel honoured every time I lead one. This whole settling-in-by-February theory appears to be true: I've just been hired as a short-term consultant to prepare a comment on a proposed Australian law on forced and servile marriage for a local NGO. And tomorrow a friend and I move into a new place where I plan to unpack for the first time since August. (I just have to find some crates or drawers to unpack my stuff into, haha.) The new house is a unique space: a converted fire station closer to the city, and everyone from friends' parents to my boss are kindly pooling together to lend me furniture and supplies, affirming yet again (as if I needed it) that people are good. Or better than good, even. (Photo: You know you're in Australia when...)
Posted byValerie at 1:20 PM 0 comments
"You'll love it here, and never want to leave!"
Monday, January 24, 2011
Van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime. Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated. There are so many examples to help us realise that making money or earning accolades is not a reflection of how good you are at what you're doing, or its value to yourself and society. Money does make it easier to take care of yourself, and if basic needs are already cared for (ala Australia), money can increase quality of life so you can explore arts, a sense of self, etc. I work with and for many who struggle to gather the basic flour, eggs and water, much less have an oven to put a custard into--all while my life "struggles" are choosing flavours of icing and toppings. Because of my stability, I'm lucky to be able to focus on my art. And if you're reading this, you're likely also lucky enough to be in the icing or whipped-creme zone, too.
It's all relative. There was a study recently that once you earn above $75,000, your happiness actually decreases or stagnates. The theory is, if you want a new pair of shoes and you have to save for it, or go back later when it's on sale, you remember the anticipation, and when you do get it you have that story and excitement every time you wear it. If you're really wealthy and you just buy it because you look at it and like it, you don't appreciate it as much, you don't have a story, and you didn't reflect whether you really wanted or needed it. What I wonder with easy living, is whether people don't think about moving up the heirarchy because on a metaphorical level if they want the shoes they get them. Why consider even fancier shoes when you and everyone around can get nice shoes if they want?
Saturday night I sat in Federation Square watching the Australian Open on the big screen, snacking on carrots and hummus and chatting to friends. Walking to the train, my friend commented what a beautiful night it was, to which I replied, "Yes, and I love my life!" I do. I'm also all for national pride, and am tired of people telling me how much I'll love it and want to stay here. I do love it. I am here, and I chose to come. And, Australia, I do not want to stay for good. No offense (or offence). I'm enjoying our time together, and for what it's worth, I don't think you're uninfluencial at all. It's quite an antidote to South Africa, which I also adored.If I'm Goldilocks, after all of this travel I'm thinking more and more that home-basing in the US will feel juuuuust right. You can test your fit into gross national happiness here. I'm a solid 35/35. Here's hoping you are too, and blessed to pursue whatever your art/heart desires!
Posted byValerie at 11:53 AM 0 comments
Cheers! Salut! Prost! Oogy Wawa!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year! Instead of rushing into the future thinking what I want to achieve in 2011, I'm taking time to reflect on and relish accomplishments of the past year(s) and celebrate personal and career growth, and the support of friends and family around the world. Sometimes it's hard to stay positive and strive towards the balance of being present with mindful planning and past introspection. I'm making lists of what I want to release from my life, and what I want to call in and cultivate, forming more philosophical goals than specific measurable ones. One broad goal is to be grateful. "Gratitude sees mistakes as natural and forgivable. It sees them as opportunities for self-correction, not punishment. Gratitude is about opportunities to change and grow. Gratitude is optimistic in that it allows for anything to happen in the next moment. Gratitude is about being open to transformation," quoted from here. (Jack & Coke in a can, typical Christmas and New Year's fare. I, however, abstained from such merriment and the inevitable drama that ensues.)
So often we have fond thoughts of others we don't share. Sometimes that gushiness feels so good! It's not the typical Aussie method. Here people tend to show affection by putting others down. "I'd consider coming over if I actually wanted to see you," instead of "I wish I could come, because I'd love to see you, and already have plans." Teasing can be fun, but not when it's all there is, or egos involved are fragile. An alternative is that we can all aspire to be Jedi, and follow the Zen advice of doing less. Example: when is the last time you listened to music? Just listened: eyes closed, not involved in any other task but listening and experiencing the music? How about watching a movie--not with your laptop whirring, while folding laundry, or cooking supper, but just sat and immersed yourself in a movie? The same can apply to anything from washing dishes and feeling the warm soapy water feed through your fingers, to walking in a park and stopping to smell a flower or seek out a bird flitting around a nearby tree. 1/4 of people in the US said it was okay to be online during sex. Eeps! I'm thinking more and more that multi-tasking is a bit like processed food and much of Western medicine: 
highly overrated and short-sighted.
As for my holiday celebrations, after a 40C (100F) day ambitiously spent cycling and wandering around St Kilda beach, I began 2011 in a state of zen listening to waves crash across a rocky seashore, watching a string of fireworks across the city from afar (at one point there were 8 different sets firing off all across the bay), in the post-picnic company of a friend. Christmas and my first Boxing Day were with friendly and lively large families, both fun and exhausting. It made me appreciate that my family is small so that holidays are restful simply due to the limited number of attendees. House-sitting now by the beach south of the city, I'm enjoying a lot of restful alone time, meditating and cycling often. It's hard to be stressed with sand between one's toes, lorikeets squawking in trees, a peculiar flowery smell outside one's front door, a large patio with a waterfall and huge kitchen to come home to. I realise I spend more time on porches and in kitchens than anywhere else in a house, and tend to sit on the floor instead of on a sofa. (Photo: lorikeet in a gum tree)
On the work front, the project to reform the Melbourne response to priest sex abuse is heating up, with a front-page story in the paper. And I routinely spend hours a day reading about child trafficking. I'm currently engaging in an interesting inner debate, whether or not it's better to legalise prostitution. Current research is indicating not.
Pro's: can regulate it, test prostitutes for disease, keep it above-ground, it's going to happen anyway so may as well monitor it and make it safe, gives women career option, tax it for state income.
Con's: increases the amount of trafficking, diseased/drug-addicted women are forced underground, women in the profession have a history of abuse and neglect and often perpetuate it into further PTSD and other disorders through prostitution, creates a culture of condoning the commodification of women and paying for sex, women have plenty of career options that do not violate fundamental human right of safety and sanctity of one's body and sexuality, ruins sex for the women, many men feel peer-pressured into it and regret using prostitutes.
It's Australia/Scotland/Netherlands/Denmark and other Western nations who've legalised 
prostitution and seen a huge uptick in trafficking, porn, prostitution, and abuse of women versus Sweden, where prostitution and trafficking have been decriminalised for prostitutes and sex workers so they have incentive to report and can receive help, and criminalised for traffickers and sex exploiters and those who pay for such services. Stopping the demand side.
I'm obviously leaning towards the Swedish model. With Australia #2 in the world creating demand for sex workers, one wonders how soon such laws and attitudes will change. Here's hoping, and working toward that end! (Photo: Black Rock beach in the moonlight)
And here's to a new year full of love and light, health and fulfillment, and for those of us in the market, paid work in our fields of choice so we can easily continue our life's work. *wink*
Posted byValerie at 4:10 AM 0 comments
You Give, I Give, We All Give!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
"Your life is all variables and no constants," a friend said to me today, appealing to the math major in me. Except for the lovely people in my life and idealistic area of work I am passionate about and determined to somehow earn a living doing, there are no constants here, it's true. I am very excited to be starting to use my brain productively, though! It's a bit hard to believe it took this long to even find suitable volunteer work. Oh, Australia and your delightfully slow pace. I'm beginning work on two projects this week, in talks for a few more after Christmas, and have my name on a temp agency list just in case. Money will follow, I have faith, and in the 
meantime I am blessed by Aussie generosity with free places to stay, and even some food and keys to local dumpsters, and positive sentiment, as in, "Wow, that's your line of work? Boy, the world really loses out when you're between jobs." (Photo: handmade chocolate-y window display)
Project #1 involves stopping child sex trafficking on the demand-side, through a documentary about the approximately 2 million children trafficked for sex work every year, mostly through Southeast Asia and Australia. The Advocate to Eliminate Team is producing & distributing Corridors of Children, watch the trailer here. I'm working to develop a training strategy and materials for educating the public and spreading the word through the tourism/hospitality industry, the legal/government prosecution/enforcement side, and critical mass/university/public forums angle. We are looking for 30,000 adult names to match the 30,000 child sex workers in the Thailand alone. Please add yourself to the list, take a stand & pass it on!
Project #2 involves advocacy work with In Good Faith, for victims abused by priests in the Melbourne diocese, where the church is not appropriately, nor legally, responding to perpetrators and compensating victims. Example: 300 substantiated allegations of sexual abuse since 1996, and only 1 defrocking. Stories of burning evidence, advising victims they don't need lawyers and forcing small settlements, not reporting crimes to police--in a word, appalling.
In sum, Australia, I really appreciate the hospitality and optimism about paid work opportunities, I appreciate the warm weather even though it doesn't feel to me like Christmas at 26C/80F, I appreciate the bike paths and lanes and lack of rain when pedaling around in a suit, I appreciate the hidden high-quality $5 lunch venues, and I appreciate all the kind people who meet with and call me offering an ear, share stories of their inspiring careers, as well as advice and contacts. I am not exaggerating when I say I have met roughly 100 people and emailed easily 300 in the month I've been here. "No one can say you're not enthusiastic," said one friend. "Do you go out at all?" asked another. No one can, and yes, I do a lot, though I can't be bothered to cycle half an hour away to first start salsa dance at 10 pm on a weeknight. Start something earlier, Melbourne, por favor. I am a healthier, 
happier me when I exercise a couple hours of cardio a day, do yoga regularly (slipping the past few days due to excess cycling, sorry shoulders!), and sleep with the sun. (Photo: street art attitude I'm aspiring not to have)
Sometimes one has to shift some of the variables into constants to promote stability and sanity, for reasons both sensible and silly, and even random. I've been asked so many times what I'm doing for Christmas, when I was concerned instead with sorting out where I would be sleeping the next night. Enjoying the journey, grasping at dreams, giving and humbly getting, and thankful for the ride. As Bette Davis said, "Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night." Yee-haw! (Photo credits to sneaky friend)
Posted byValerie at 1:45 PM 0 comments
Patience, Ladybug
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Wow, w
hat a great CV/story. We're doing xyz. We wish we could use your skills, and have no openings at the moment. Abc would be a great person for you to meet.
The current chorus, followed by:
You'll find a job after the holidays, in Jan or Feb for sure. The country shuts down now, everyone heads to the beach for Christmas and school holiday, and picks back up in mid- to late Jan.
I've just about met nearly everyone remotely in my field in Melbourne, and it's to the point that I'm starting to be referred in circles. Few new avenues left to explore without expanding out into other lines of work. Looking into volunteering in work I'm interested in part-time to start using my brain and get experience, and temping part-time in order to eat.
Now enter a potential job in US next fall, worth an interview for sure, since visa runs out next November anyway. (Photo: namesake Collingwood Cafe)
And then:
We have a job opening immediately that you'd be a great fit for. Interested?
In Washington DC, human right's work, opportunity to move up and run projects abroad in the future.
Result: Confusion.
My meditation today discussed the rocking chair test, thinking with your head or heart:
Imagine following a path your whole life, and sitting on a rocking chair in your old age, reflecting. Are you happy with the decision? Is it a decision unveiling your highest possible destiny, or an easy, comfortable solution that fits into your outer life?
Someone said I'm juggling
so many maybe-balls in the air, one's bound to hit me in the head. Sounds potentially painful, yet I'm sure the sentiment of whatever happens will be great, whether it's a US yes or maybe's here congealing into a yes. And "helpful" stories of someone taking 6 months to find volunteer work an hour outside the city are as helpful as a cancer patient being told, I knew someone with cancer, and he died.
Speaking of meditation, I've been yoga-ing and meditating mostly daily, which in addition to cycling is such a lovely mind and body-detox. I can't repeat enough how much I love non-driving cities. This year instead of a list of new years' resolutions, I'm compiling an annual (and even farther back perhaps) list of accomplishments, and a list of what I will let go and what I will call into my life. As my favorite healer said, What we seek seeks us, so your job is waiting. (Photo: surreal city art & architecture)
I'm keeping a gratitude journal and sending out notes, thoughts and energy of thankfulness. I can't afford to send bought presents, and this, at least, is personal. Last weekend I went on a (free!) meditation/yoga/qi gong/vegetarian/etc retreat for a day in the countryside. It was nice to escape the city, tree-ful as it is, to a place people grow their own vegetables again. Even getting dried spices (unground) from an Indian or Asian spice shop instead of the standard grocery store makes a huge difference in taste. Fresh food is more satisfying. I reckon (Australia speak) you eat less because it's so sumptuous & scrumptious you savor the splendid flavors. The meditation took up about half the day, maybe even 4 hours, and was not quiet contemplation but group Hare Krishna guitar-led chanting. I'm used to kinesiology, quiet contemplation, mindful yoga, and this was very different. Not quite my scene, though interesting.
I've been trying to meet a friend
's sister since I arrived, and she wants to catch up Sunday next (2 Sundays from now). People ask what I'm doing to celebrate Christmas. I didn't even celebrate Hanukkah. I meant to go to an evening candle-lighting ceremony while it was monsooning (the 13-year drought is so over), and would've been stuck in the city waiting around for hours til then, so I went home and helped my hosts pack instead; they're moving house. Here's to being unable to plan, instead meditating in the moment.
What are you grateful for? (Photo: amusing & popular food shop at Melbourne Central Mall)
Posted byValerie at 7:37 PM 2 comments
"You're a Refugee from America!"
Sunday, November 28, 2010
So said one of the lawyers I met this week in my networking & job-hunting palooza. (Apologies to Spanish friends who ask, 'Where in America??' when people from the US say they're 'American.') Unemployment here is around 5%, and people are shocked when I say in the US to continue my career path I would be competing for unpaid internships. I've met a nice group of expats, including many Spaniards who stay here because of 20% unemployment in Spain. With the 1-1 dollar parity between Australia and the US, plus working hours and lifestyle here, Australia sure is attractive! (Photo: Royal Exhibition Building)
And so is the art scene & interesting population here. After attending a local "sexy" film festival Wednesday, wandering toward the train station taking pictures of graffiti in the rain, a prostitute tried to befriend me. It was her birthday and her boyfriend was in jail, her ex-husband was "giving her shit," so she was "a good sport at the party and let them hang things all over her." I'm not sure I want to know what that means. She left the party because her friend is paranoid and has 27 cameras in his house, and once she sling-shot them all out the window to make a point, but what she really likes to do is build and then rip out gardens, and now she's in the ripping out stage at her house. Her drunken companion asked me for a light. I said I don't s
moke, so he asked if I smoke pot. I said no, and he asked if I drink. She chastised him that she was talking politely about gardens trying to make a new friend. She offered to take me to a neighborhood across town to show me "the good graffiti" after they smoke up at his house for just five minutes. I politely declined, and wished her a happy birthday. Then I miraculously found a Korean grocer open and bought some seaweed & kimchee. (Photo: nighttime exploration of art in the Fitzroy/Brunswick area)
My Thursday networking day was cut short due to monsoon-style rain resulting in a lack of presentability as my hair lost three inches in length and gained five in width, so I hung out with a friend and worked from her house, then met another friend at a Japanese restaurant with a gluten-free menu. They still managed to poison two dishes, accompanied by massive apologies ("Here's my card, if you get sick we'll pay, please call"). Luckily the headache didn't last long, and while we got those dishes free, I suddenly realized I was a bad Cinderella and was about to miss the last midnight train. My friend ended up driving me all the way on his motorbike, which was actually quite fun, since I got to see a new piece of the city. 
After a lovely eat-and-chat-for-hours-in-the-rain day, followed by dancing and discussing US politics (which people love to do with me here), despite checking train times, I missed the last one again, and the motorbiker came to my rescue to avoid the $60 taxi. Again. Oops.
So on Saturday I was determined to be social-lite and not out late. I spent the day emailing every registered family law firm in Melbourne, then enjoyed the new Harry Potter movie & a delicious lamb dinner. (And my friend helped me find an umbrella for $10 instead of the $30 I kept finding. Here's hoping it lasts at least 1/3 as long as those!) I was telling my friend that I am so ready to be working, and it feels like a silly use of time to search for appropriate work. She had such a good response: it's not a waste of time, because it's spent finding a way to continue your life's work. Hurrah for positivity, and to all my other un-, under- or unhappily-employed friends, here's to waking up every morning and believing, 'Today I am reaching the perfect job for my skills and growth.' (Photo: Chinatown, obviously)
Posted byValerie at 9:24 AM 1 comments
